Coming up to 1 year

So I’m bouncing around ideas for my 1 year on T video. Anyone got anything they’d especially like to see?

Leaving

I’m disappearing from this website. Over the coming weeks/months, I’ll be moving posts to their new location. Once it’s up and running, I’ll let you all know what the new address is. Basically, the site I’m moving to will be a lot easier to maintain, and I’m looking forward to getting started.

The Trans Diaries – 11 Months on T

Not much extra to say this month, other than the fact that I’m excited to almost be a year on T. Next month’s post will probably end up being an in-depth comparison between a year ago and now.

That’s it for now, other than the stuff below. The links to “Snuff” and “They Weren’t There” are also down the bottom. Enjoy.

Facial Hair

Yup. Still growing. Even though I’m shaving twice a week now, it’s still obvious by the third day, that I need to shave (to me at least). I’m not running around with a full beard or anything, but my sideburns are established to a point now where I reckon I could grow them out if I wanted to. I might do exactly that when I’m recovering from my hysto.

Body Hair

Still no change. My hair decided it wanted to be darker than usual for a while there though.

Voice

Again, not much change here this month. Every now and then, my voice feels different. But whether it has actually changed? Not sure.

Mentality

A bit of a rough month mentally. I’ve been doing as much research as I can for my impending hysto, but I’m still having problems finding certain bits of information.
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Snuff

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

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They Weren’t There

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

Surgical Update; and Hysterectomy Blog-post Plans

Well hello there!

So I thought I’d do a surgical update – because I haven’t done one in a while, and also because I just noticed something awesome (to me at least), and I want to tell you about it. It requires some background information though, so I’ll do that first…

At this point, I am 3 months and 12 days post my chest surgery with Dr Hassell in Sydney, Australia. I’ve had a couple post-op reviews since then; and the main issues seem to be that I still have a small amount of excess tissue (that may require a revision), and also that my scars are still vey red. This story is regarding the latter; the excess tissue is for another post.
Initially I was told just to let my scars heal, and use Bio-Oil: that didn’t do much for me at the time, so I was told to place some Micropore tape over the incisions, and let them heal. The tape has made a major difference in my scarring under my arms (you can barely see than anymore), but did very little to the front of my chest. At this point, it was discovered that I was beginning to get some keyloiding of the scar tissue, so Dr Hassell told me to use some stuff called “Cica Care.”
The first thing I’ll say about this stuff, is that it’s bloody expensive for what you get. Basically, you cut it to the shape and length you need, then stick it to the area, and you’re done! I stick Micropore tape over it too, just to help keep it in place… But it’s pretty good.
ANYWAY!!! So I’ve been using tis stuff or about three weeks now, and wasn’t really seeing much in the way of results (the hardness of the scar has definitely decreased though). But today, I took the tape off to change it – and noticed that the keyloiding has significantly reduced in color, and in size! It no longer feels hard, and the edges of the scarring have even disappeared a little. I’m very excited. Hopefully this means my scarring will be minimal in a few short months.

In other news. I’m pulling together information from a number of different websites,in order to get a few posts up and going regarding hysterectomies. It’s a work in progress to say the least. If anyone has anything that they specifically would like answers to, let me know; and if I can get the information, I’ll include it.

The Trans Diaries – 10 Months on T

It’s been a hell of a month this month. I’ve barely had time to scratch myself. Work’s more and more bareable as time goes on – but I’m still looking to change to a different trade at some point in the not too distant future.
I’ve started a new physical training program – which I’m loving. Even in the last week, I’m starting to see changes. The excess tissue on the right side of my chest is going down pretty quickly, and my arms are toning nicely.

That’s it for now, other than the stuff below. The links to “Snuff” and “They Weren’t There” are also down the bottom. Enjoy.

Facial Hair

I’ve just started shaving twice a week, so I can’t really say what my facial hair’s actually doing. All I know is that it was getting VERY obvious at the 5-day mark that I hadn’t been shaving. I still have peach fuzz on my cheeks, but the rest of my face and neck now has a scattering of proper facial hair, that’s slowly but surely making it’s way in. I’d love to grow it out for a month just to see where I’m at, but I value getting kisses from my girlfriend too much, lol.

Body Hair

Not a whole lot of change here this month. The only thing I will say is that I’m extremely glad I don’t appear to be losing any head hair. I hope that continues.

Muscle

Huge change in muscle this month – but that’s because I’ve started training again. I’m going to take this section out, because there are no testosterone-related changes here; I’ve always been a pretty muscular guy, and testosterone hasn’t really done anything to change that, except make muscle-building easier.

Acne

Acne’s been fine this month. As long as I keep up my Phisohex usage, and drink enough water – there’s no issue.

Voice

I think my voice has pretty much leveled out now. I’m happy with where it is, but I think it’ll change again at some point (it still cracks every now and then).
I’m not having any problems on the phone anymore, and in fact people seem a lot more comfortable around me now that my voice, body and mannerisms match each other.

Mentality

Again, another good month mentally, for the main part. I’m starting to pick up on a couple things at work, but I don’t know whether they’re actually things to worry about or not. The way I’m thinking about it, is that the main cause of the trouble will be out of the picture from about May; that’ll make life a hell of a lot easier.
I’m studying again in preparation for my job-transfer later this year. I enjoy learning, so it’s been a good thing for me psychologically; I was starting to get a bit edgy, because I don’t have to use my brain at work, and that gets very frustrating after a while.

Hunger/Diet

I’m going to take this section out. There’s been no change in my hunger; and when there is, it isn’t related to my hormone-therapy anyway.

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Snuff

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

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They Weren’t There

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

Surgery Diary #1 – 2 Months Post-Op

I’m sorry that I’ve been a it quiet on here lately, things are pretty mad around here these days and I barely have time to breathe.
I’ve also been a it slack with the photos, but I’m getting myself back into that again too.

As of today, I’m 2 months and 2 days post my chest surgery with Dr. Megan Hassell down in Sydney.
My scars are looking better and better all the time. I had a 7-week post-op review last month, and she said that I should stop using the Bio-Oil for now, and just concentrate on getting the scars as tin as possible. She told me to use 1″ Micropore tape, and to just keep it on until it falls off, then replace it.

Now, I come from a very medically-minded family; and had never heard of this magic quality that Micropore supposedly had – so I was very skeptical at first. But the difference in the look and feel of my scars, even in a week, is huge. I’m more than happy to say that I was wrong about this stuff. I have another review coming up in February, and I’m hoping to be told that it’s my last visit.
I was given the go-ahead to start a rehabilitation program too, so I’m looking forward to that.

There really isn’t much to say beyond that. I still have some excess tissue on my right side, but as I lose my weight, it’s getting smaller and smaller all the time; and I don’t think I’ll have to worry about having excess skin once it’s gone.

The Trans Diaries – 9 Months on T

I know I say this almost every month. But I can’t believe it’s been 9 months since I started testosterone. As the months go on, I find myself feeling more and more at ease with life as a whole.

I recently got a new iPad, which has made blogging a lot easier. If I have an idea for something I want to write about, I just open up the iPad, and away I go.

That’s it for now, other than the stuff below. The links to “Snuff” and “They Weren’t There” are also down the bottom. Enjoy.

Facial Hair

At this stage, I can almost grow out my sideburns. I’ve pretty much got a full set of neck-hair too, which is cool. While I was on holidays, I let my hair grow out for a couple weeks; since then, it’s started coming in thicker. I’m only shaving once a week at the moment (not sure how I’ve been getting away with it at work). Everyone starts coming back next week though, so I’ll have to start shaving twice a week, to stay looking clean-shaven.

Body Hair

My body hair seems to have stopped growing – which suits me just fine. It does like to change in darkness every now and then though. I thinned out the hair on the top of my thighs the other week though; the difference in colouring was huge…Now it blends a lot better.

Muscle

There’s not a lot of change in this area this month. I’m hoping to get the “ok” from Dr Hassell on Monday, so that I can start my rehabilitation program.

Acne

My acne’s started playing up again – but we’ve had some really hot and humid days this past couple of weeks. As long as I keep up my regime, it’ll keep it all in check.

Voice

I’ve had a change in tone, but I’m not sure whether there’s been a difference in the depth. I actually think I sound a lot like my brother these days, but my better-half says she can’t hear it. I have days when my voice sounds really deep, and others where I barely pass on the phone.

Mentality

It’s been another good month mentally. We had a bit of a scare earlier in the month, concerning the health of a friend; that tested my stress-coping skills. Luckily though, things appear to have settled. I’m starting to get nervous about my hysterectomy (I got a date yesterday), but I know that I have the support of my family and friends – so it’s not a huge issue.

Hunger/Diet

My hunger is settling down to something more manageable. As long as I eat regularly, I find the cravings for sugary food are few and far between.

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Snuff

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

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They Weren’t There

- Pre-T

- 1 Month on T

Hysterectomy Diary – Getting A Date (part 1)

 

And so begins my surgery diary for my hysterectomy.

I believe I’ve mentioned my surgeon on here before. For privacy’s sake, I’m not going to mention his name, until I ask him for permission to use it on here – FtM Hysterectomies aren’t exactly something he does on a regular basis… So until then, we’ll call him Dr X.

I’ve been feeling extremely nervous about having a hysterectomy. No doubts, but very nervous. There’s an excruciatingly small amount of data out there about hystos in FtMs, and the lack of information is mainly what’s making me nervous.

One of the guys I know has experienced a large amount of anxiety and depressive moods post his hysterectomy, and I’m in doubt that he’s the only person to have felt this – it’s a real shame that people aren’t as open about hysterectomy information as they are about their chest surgery… Almost like the latter is seen a status symbol, and the former – a secret.

Another reason is that I hate feeling vulnerable. After my chest surgery, I felt so fragile… I didn’t want to be around anyone, in case they walked into me and hurt me – which I felt was really strange, because I’ve had surgeries before, and have never felt that way.

I guess I’m also nervous because I wasn’t expecting it to happen for another year or two – so I haven’t really thought much about it. I’ve been so focused on my chest surgery, that the idea of a hysterectomy didn’t seem all that important before.

I called Dr X’s office today. His receptionist was meant to give me a call in November to arrange a date for surgery – but I didn’t receive one. So I gave her a call today to see if there was any particular reason for it. The following conversation occurred:

Receptionist: Good morning, Dr X’s rooms, how may I help you?

Me: Hi there, I saw Dr X last year, and he said that one of his receptionists would give me a call in regards to having a hysterectomy last this year, but I didn’t receive one. So I’m just calling to see where things are at.

Receptionist: A Hysterectomy?

Me: Yes, thanks.

Receptionist: Ok no worries, and what was your name?

Me: Scott ****

Receptionist: Scott…. Is that your last name?

Me: No no, **** is my last name, Scott is my first name.

Receptionist: Your… your first name is Scott?

Me: Yes.

Receptionist: Is… Scott’s not a girl’s name.

Me: No. I’m actually transitioning from female to male.

Receptionist: OH! Ok… Well, I haven’t heard that one before. *laughs nervously*

Me: No, I expect you haven’t. *also laughs*

It went on for a bit from there, but that basic jist of things is that I’m going to get a phone call from them sometime today to discuss a time in July to have my hysterectomy.

Even though it was a fairly awkward talk with her, the receptionist sort of re-affirmed the reason why I am having this surgery. Until I am legally recognised as male – there is the potential that there will be hundreds of instances throughout the course of my life, where I will have to explain myself to a complete stranger, who doesn’t actually need to know certain things about my life.

As crappy as I felt during the conversation, it was also a little bit amusing. I’m constantly amazed by how much I’ve changed physically in the last 9 months.

In fact, I saw one of the girls from work today for the first time in a few months, and she commented on just how much my voice had deepened! I’d actually thought that my voice had stopped dropping about 2 months ago.

Surgery Diary #1 – 1 Month Post-Op

It’s very strange to only be 1 month post-op at this point. I feel like my chest has always been this way.

I’m no longer taking any form of medication for my surgery site. However, I’m applying Bio-Oil twice every day, to help with the scars.
I have a small amount of swelling still on my right side, however it isn’t a large concern – as it will go down in time.

My nipples appear to be level with each other, and if they’re not – they’re not far off. I’ve got full range of movement back, but my GP has given me restrictions as to what I can do (obviously). I have an appointment on the 23rd of this month, with Dr Hassall. Hopefully she’ll tell me that I no longer have to wear my surgical binder.
At this point in time, the binder is about half the size it used to be, the elastic is dying on it quite quickly, and if it gets much worse, I’ll have to buy another one for the next couple weeks.

I’ve decided that I’m not putting pictures up of my chest just yet – I might do a slide show at the end of the year, but we’ll see.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Hi guys,

An early “Happy New Year” from me. I apologise for not posting my 3-week post-op entry: I didn’t have internet connection. I’ll be doing my 1-month post-op entry on the 2nd – so look out for that!

Have a good night tonight, wherever you are – and stay safe.